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Writer's pictureDana Donnelly

Detoxing from judgement

We could all use a little judgement detox and I highly suggest going and checking out Gabby Bernstein's work if you are serious and ready to stop being judgmental. Here's the thing, we all judge. We all have an inner critic that also judges people outside of ourselves. The inner judge is based off of our own insecurities, let me explain.


This morning in the gym I felt like I was on a seesaw with my inner judge. I found myself subconsciously judging some of the people I saw. Due to all the amazing events happening in my life the past few weeks, I have become inconsistent with my routine including going to the gym everyday. I walked into the gym knowing that the workout was going to suck. I convinced myself before I even went in that it was going to be hard and I was dreading it. This is so unlike me because working out is my therapy. But I went into the gym already judging myself for skipping yesterday and feel unmotivated to get it done today.


I was halfway through my first set of hip thrusts and I could feel my glute muscles working hard and I got inspired. I started thinking, you know what todays sesh might be hard but it doesn't have to suck. I reminded myself that it's all about your mindset and with each rep I felt a little more inspiration. Then, I saw a girl with this bright orange, itty bitty, romper set on and I started to judge her. Is she serious? It's 30 degrees outside. She's doing that workout wrong. Again, I caught myself and thought why am I judging her? Her outfit is actually cute! I wouldn't wear it but she looks great.


I was judging her because I had gone into that gym already judging myself and with a made up mind that the workout would suck. So, subconsciously I was trying to sabotage my gym sesh because I had a negative preconceived notion. I was being judgmental because deep down I have been judging myself ever since I fell out of consistency with the gym three weeks prior.


*Here's a pic of me after I chose to feel good and wound up having a great workout to start my day*


Your mindset is EVERYTHING


You're mindset determines everything. Whatever you think before going into each activity or space throughout each day, that's what determines how it will play out. If you go into that job that you hate every single day thinking I don't want to be in this shit hole, these people suck, my boss is going to piss me off today I just know it, I hate this because I make no real money here, then you will more than likely have a shit day.


I have done this work for years now. I have read a ton of books, taken classes, gone to conferences, done challenges, the whole nine yards but none of that erases human tendency. You will still have days where you fall off, you act out of character, you do or say something you really wish you hadn't. That's life and all of that doesn't matter in the long run. What matters is, how you handle it. Do you go throughout each day doing the same shit? Do you live the same cycle over and over? Or do you become aware, learn the lesson, and occasionally fuck up and call yourself out and switch your mindset so that the whole day or week doesn't suck?


You can choose a better thought, a better feeling, a better attitude at any given moment. But that's the key, you CAN choose. It's up to you to turn it around. It's up to you to check yourself. You need to be the one to realize that your energy sucks right now so that you can either have a good day or learn from the shit day that's already over, let it go, and choose better tomorrow.


Choosing to feel good, choosing kindness, choosing love - that's what gets you closer to where you want to be and who you want to be. I checked myself today. Yes I may have needed to check myself more than once in a 15 minute period, but once I shifted my mindset, I had the best fucking workout. I started genuinely smiling at people instead of judging them. I choose to feel good and by the grace of God, I left that gym feeling proud and revived. If I would have continued with that negative mindset, I wouldn't have pushed myself, I would've kept judging everyone, I would not have focused on myself, I would have kept judging myself AND I would have left that gym feeling like absolute garbage.


You can't show up as your best self when you are choosing low vibe thoughts and energy


If you want to succeed in whatever it is that you want to do, if you want a healthy forever type of love, if you want great friends, if you want to stop generational curses by providing your kids the best life, if you want true happiness, if you want a bonded family, if you want anything great in this life... It all starts with you. How you wake up in the morning matters. What you think to yourself when you look in the mirror matters. What you say to your partner first thing in the morning, matters. How you act when you walk into that job matters. The body language you have matters. The energy and the attitude you have matters. How you start and end your days matters so much freaking more than you can even imagine.


A judgement detox doesn't mean never judging a single soul ever again, that's horse shit. You are human. But it does mean calling yourself out not only on what you think of other people but more important, what you think about everything. Become aware of the thoughts you have first thing in the morning and right before bed. This is why gratitude practice is so influential when done first thing in the morning and right before you fall asleep. I always say, the first step in anything is becoming aware. Once you are aware, you can create better habits and patterns for yourself.


As always,

Have a great fucking day and remember, you are entirely up to you.

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